nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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