the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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