Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
