I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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