Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
