Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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