We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
