please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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