At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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