No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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