he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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