I am spending my child support on dildos
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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