there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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