Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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