She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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