Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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