So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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