So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
