I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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