You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
