What a fucking waste of an outfit
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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