So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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