god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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