Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
