i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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