hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
