i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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