Cold hands, warm shart.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She bit a glass in half.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize