I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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