I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
