you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
