Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
