I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
