you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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