and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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