So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this boner is exhausting
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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