When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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