i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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