how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
