**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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