I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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