There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
