His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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