What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
