I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
