Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
