worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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