i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
