I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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