Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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