Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
