And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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