State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
