the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
