he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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