OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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