12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
