With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
