apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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