you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
only if we run a train.
done.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
