from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
