I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
